Never give up your hopes and dreams for your child! But do understand that with their diagnosis those hopes and dreams are going to change, but you CAN and SHOULD still have hopes and dreams for your child. It’s okay.
As all parents, our overall hope and dream for our child is to be happy and safe with great friends and a family of their own. As special needs parents we also add in self-independence where they can live on their own with minimal to no support.
After that big one, there are all sizes of hopes and dreams, like for some it’s making it through a day without a meltdown, dressing their selves, trying a new food, making a new friend or being invited to a play date. Different ages are going to bring different hopes and dreams as well.
When Matthew was younger he loved baseball, still does, but my hope and dream was that he would be good enough to get a college scholarship someday. Where he would go from there would be up to him… As a single mom the “free“college was all I was concerned about at that time. Don’t get me wrong, the dream didn’t change because of his autism, but because of his lack of balance and coordination. It’s gotten better over the years, but not to the level of the MLB.
Matthew had a dream of being a video game design/tester, he gave that up on his own when he realized when he went to college for it he would have to take a lot of math and art, two subjects he knew he disliked and wasn’t good with. Now he is working towards a bachelor’s degree in Communication, Mass Media to become a cameraman/video editor. His ultimate dream job is being a cameraman for the Royals. If he can’t play for them he at least wants to film them. I know that if he works very hard and with the proper supports in place (that will be a post at another time) he can and will reach his goal of a college degree.
I was once asked why I push college on him, I don’t, he knows he could go find a job and begin a life at any time he wants. If you ask him why he wants to go to college he will tell you because (1) that is what his family does “get college degrees” and (2) he knows that will lead to a job that will bring him the self independence he does actually want. And of course, buy him the latest and greatest video games with a big screen TV to play them on.
Just remember, just like the hopes and dreams for yourself change, so do they for your child as well, disability or not…